I’m glad you care Facebook…

I love getting emails from Facebook like, “We’ve missed you. You’ve missed a lot of great stuff that’s been going on.”

Really? Missed me? I’ve missed out on ‘great stuff”?

I don’t think anyone missed my posting about what I had for lunch the other day. (by the way it was Cheetos and water and some Ritz crackers left in the bottom of an old lunch bag.) And I could have updated my status but you know I was also thinking about what I do. Literally, thinking about the work I do.  I could have posted something like, “Been sitting here for an hour, staring at the computer monitor trying to figure out why this book outline sucks.” But instead I was, you know, thinking and working on it.

And as far as them saying I’ve been missing-out on stuff –that’s impossible. Are they saying that whatever it was that was posted is GONE NOW FOREVER. Let me explain this thing called The Internet – Every stupid thing that’s on it will still be there, somewhere, till the Earth is swallowed-up by the sun. I will be able to read everything posted (ever posted!) for as long as I live. Hell, long after I’m dead people will be able to scroll though my Facebook posts and see that on October 1st, 2012 I LIKED a picture of my friends dog. You can’t MISS anything. It’s a version of hell actually. No matter how Facebook wants to treat this like a feature, I know it’s a bug. Why would the universe WANT all this crap stored – FOREVER? It’s a bug.

I already waste time with this blog. I don’t know why. And it’s embarrassing to try and make up answers when people ask, “Why do you have a blog? Do you think I should keep a blog? What do you talk about on your blog?”

How dumb blogs are?

But my blog is MY blog. I can post once a week. Twice. I can ignore it for a month…no one cares.

And at least my blog doesn’t write me idiotic e-mails telling me I should post more. “Hey Mark! I’ve missed you. You only posted once last week. Don’t you like me? Come on back!”

I know, I know. Facebook doesn’t have anything to make money from if people don’t constantly provide it with fresh content. So yeah, I get it. If all those Facebookians want to buy new cars I better get back there and post more. After all, I wouldn’t want to hurt Facebook’s feelings. Or miss out on stuff that…can never, ever be missed out on.

Facebook is like a Ferris Wheel ride…it’s interesting at first. It’s amusing. Wow. Look at all those roofs. But now 7 minutes have passed and we are still going…now 30 minutes. You start to yell. But everyone just smiles back at you. 39 hours later the novelty is gone. But the puking has really kicked in. And this Ferris Wheel NEVER ENDS. It never stops. The Ferris Wheel operators have your credit card and they just keep swiping it. And once in a while they yell as you WIZZ by, “Isn’t this awesome! Don’t you want to keep going?!” And you yell, “NO! Please if there’s a God above, no, stop!” And the operators just give you that finger pointed to the ear gesture like they can’t hear you.

Something like that…And this will be cross posted to Facebook. So there you go…


About mfearing

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6 Responses to I’m glad you care Facebook…

  1. anne dawson says:

    Your blog is NOT a waste of time, Mark! Unlike facebook- keep the blog! I really enjoyed reading and seeing EARTHLING last night before wrapping it. I discovered it on THE blog.

  2. mfearing says:

    Thanks Anne! I certainly think it’s important to have a space on the ‘internets’. But time seems to be against me getting anything done these days while staying up on twitter and facebook and google plus…ETC. And I’m suspect about the desire for these companies to create a business model off what we are doing in our life…I don’t think it’s evil…I just don’t like it. I’m a curmudgeon I guess.

  3. Mr Pre-Press says:

    What! Drunken kittens with guns tributes to lost causes memes and bullshit don’t interest you? Ah say Boy! Boy! You needs drugs, lahk raht now!!

  4. mfearing says:

    I sound like a cantankerous old pre-press guy don’t I! Darn those kids and their Facebook posts! Well, I don’t mean to be that negative. I just find the expectation that Facebook is now part of your job, no matter what you do, ill conceived and ridiculous. Of course I am also an old codger. So what I think doesn’t matter. But next time publishers tell me their marketing plan is to post on social media I know that means they have no marketing plan except for the number one marketing plan of all commercial media. Hope it hits. Hope it gets people interested. And I understand that social media is part of that, but I have to say I see no evidence it matters for most of us. Ugh…I’ve gone on too long.

  5. I hear you! Man, Facebook is a time suck, and after what now feels like many years on there I’m bored of what everyone on there has to say, including my friends. That’s bad. Facebook makes you hate people! I don’t know how it does it but it does. Im only on there to keep up with the pages i’m fans of now- i.e, im there for the marketing only. Some ‘social’ network. Sad sad sad….. sorry. You were ranting, right? Looks like i felt the need to join in.
    Chin up, and try and enjoy your blog though, this can be a fun place for you to vent and experiment!
    Thanks for your visit to my post on Bowie,

  6. mfearing says:

    I think people are genetically either Facebookian or not…I an trying to visit more often, but I hate doing because I feel like I have to…If anything is rant worthy, it’s Facebook.

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