The end came and went and here we are. Another fresh year upon us. It doesn’t look any different outside to me.
I try and have a professional goal each year in addition to the just surviving stuff…like being able to afford groceries. Hoping that the car keeps running. That I don’t need a root canal. I always hope for those things. I’m a Minnesotan after all. We must be cognoscente of all the things that can go wrong at any given moment.
Five or six years ago My goal was to illustrate a picture book. I got lucky and The Book That Eats People was offered to me. The next year I was busy with three more books to illustrate. .
In 2013 I’d love to see a really funny, bizarre and edgy picture book manuscript come to my agent for me to Illustrate. There aren’t many manuscripts like that these days. I’d love to get one that an editor reads and loves, but can’t imagine what it would look like; how it would work.
I’d also like to finish some of the long manuscripts I’ve been working on. Call them middle grade novels or outlines for graphic novels, they are definitely taking up too much space in my head. I have all these bits-and-pieces of stories that need to be resolved. It’s difficult to move on when you build up too many of these hangers-on.
And I’d like the chance to relax with my work this year. To cast aside all the minor tasks and insecurities that always feel like they will overwhelm me. I’m going to work on packing up the worst of my professional anxieties. You probably know the ones I speak of: The ‘Am I good enough?’ issues.
Why doesn’t my work look as good as this other artists? Why can’t I get more done? Why I am such a sucky writer that I can’t find an ending to this story!? Why can’t I more easily identify which of my ideas are going to resonate with readers and editors? Why am I often so sure that my work isn’t-working? Will I ever get hired again to do anything!?
I feel like I’m too old to continue carrying these with me. I’ve always been one of those sensitive-artist-types, like Josh in Haiku Tunnel. The You Tube linked clip is the scene where it is explained to Josh by his boss that the reason Josh can’t even accomplish simple tasks is because he has an artistic temperament and then gives Josh some great advice. (note the scene is mildly edgy and may not be right for all audiences). When I first saw this I finally understood what was going on in my head all these years.
For 2013 I’m going to “Go back to my desk, settle down, focus and catch-up.”.
Happy 2013! It’s going to be a great year if for no other reason because it’s the year after 2012 and before 2014. What can be better than that?
Ah, yes. I can commiserate with you. Your seventh paragraph was like some transcription from inside my head. I have one PB sitting on an agent’s “desk” in Brooklyn and I wonder why she can’t say “yes” or “no” and in the meantime I’m working on another PB and I’m sort of stuck and…well..yeah. Cooking away on the other burner, the graphic/art direction work isn’t coming in as anticipated (except for the people that want me to work for free, and the answer is “no”, people), and blah, blah, blah…
So. Yup. I get it. Also as a fellow Midwesterner I get it.
However, I think it’s good to put those goals out there where we can see them instead of just floating around in our heads. It’s also good to look back on them a year later and see what actually transpired. I’ve got a slightly scary list for 2013 but I know I can do it.
We’re doing the best we can. It’s when we DON’T ask if we are doing the best we can to improve…well…that’s when the root canals pop up and the car quits working, right?
Good advice. I find I never get the answers I want quickly enough. I always get the answers I don’t want in a timely manner. So keep holding out hope! Projects seem to take ever longer to hear about these days. Much less get a contract and a check from. And just today, visited my dentist and…yup! Root canal next week. Thank god for the midwestern accented voice in my head telling me, “Well, you just knew that was going to happen.”
Holy Crap. A REAL root canal? Well, that’s one “answer” that came too soon. I wish I could say something Midwestern witty-like and all, but I’m tapped out. It wouldn’t make a root canal go away anyways. Good Luck next week. ?:-[
I know…makes me feel like I brought it on by mentioning it! It’s a tooth with an old filling and it cracked. It’s already a big filling that nearly touches the pulp, or root or whatever, so the dentist thinks most likely it will have to have a root canal and crown. We can hope for just a crown. I’m mostly a tooth-cyborg now I swear…in another 10 years they’ll all be some kind of cap/crown filling.