The end came and went and here we are. Another fresh year upon us. It doesn’t look any different outside to me.
I try and have a professional goal each year in addition to the just surviving stuff…like being able to afford groceries. Hoping that the car keeps running. That I don’t need a root canal. I always hope for those things. I’m a Minnesotan after all. We must be cognoscente of all the things that can go wrong at any given moment.
Five or six years ago My goal was to illustrate a picture book. I got lucky and The Book That Eats People was offered to me. The next year I was busy with three more books to illustrate. .
In 2013 I’d love to see a really funny, bizarre and edgy picture book manuscript come to my agent for me to Illustrate. There aren’t many manuscripts like that these days. I’d love to get one that an editor reads and loves, but can’t imagine what it would look like; how it would work.
I’d also like to finish some of the long manuscripts I’ve been working on. Call them middle grade novels or outlines for graphic novels, they are definitely taking up too much space in my head. I have all these bits-and-pieces of stories that need to be resolved. It’s difficult to move on when you build up too many of these hangers-on.
And I’d like the chance to relax with my work this year. To cast aside all the minor tasks and insecurities that always feel like they will overwhelm me. I’m going to work on packing up the worst of my professional anxieties. You probably know the ones I speak of: The ‘Am I good enough?’ issues.
Why doesn’t my work look as good as this other artists? Why can’t I get more done? Why I am such a sucky writer that I can’t find an ending to this story!? Why can’t I more easily identify which of my ideas are going to resonate with readers and editors? Why am I often so sure that my work isn’t-working? Will I ever get hired again to do anything!?
I feel like I’m too old to continue carrying these with me. I’ve always been one of those sensitive-artist-types, like Josh in Haiku Tunnel. The You Tube linked clip is the scene where it is explained to Josh by his boss that the reason Josh can’t even accomplish simple tasks is because he has an artistic temperament and then gives Josh some great advice. (note the scene is mildly edgy and may not be right for all audiences). When I first saw this I finally understood what was going on in my head all these years.
For 2013 I’m going to “Go back to my desk, settle down, focus and catch-up.”.
Happy 2013! It’s going to be a great year if for no other reason because it’s the year after 2012 and before 2014. What can be better than that?