All this End of The World talk got me thinking…I believe the end of world will happen in different ways in different places. Here in Oregon we will drown. Even my dogs don’t want to go outside for 5 months of the year. My six year old asked for a gift certificate for 3 months of light therapy for Christmas.
In southern California people will just fry like eggs. Beautifully tanned and toned eggs. But eggs none-the-less.
In the midwest people will die of boredom.
I’m kidding…I love the midwest. Everyone knows people will be carried off by giant mosquitoes. From the tome of Gustav the 18th century Minnesota farmer and see-er; “…And the skies will darken with the long-legged beasts and your ears vibrate with the buzz of this blood-drinking scourge. From the sky they swoop down and take us away. If they don’t drain your precious life-stuff all at once you will be severely itchy-scratchy until the end comes.”
In New England if they don’t get carried away in a giant hurricane and deposited in OZ (or Toronto) New Englanders will face huge land lobsters. True, they will be well-educated land lobsters, but that doesn’t make the pinching they administer any more comfortable.
Down south kudzu will have the final say.
As a former Midwesterner and a 20+ year transplanted Oregonian, I love your predictions, Mark.
Also, you’re probably right about the lobsters and egg frying, too.
Here’s to a Happy New Year!
I’ll have to think about how Australians will end up…
Yeah, I think writers are just lazy when they don’t create specialized endings for various places. I mean, a real End Of World would have to happen in unique ways to have any meaning…